EMMERDALE
Oh, we do like to be beside the seaside! A conversation with Aaron gives Faith an idea and she decides upon a family day out – yes, at the seaside.
Cain’s not happy (let’s be honest, family outings are usually about as much fun as chicken pox) as he’s struggling with Faith’s demands; but when her health takes a turn for the worse, the family hatch a new plan – they’ll bring the seaside to Emmerdale.
Knowing this village’s luck, an ice cream van will run them all over, but no, for once it’s a perfect day as Faith watches the family enjoy the fun; when Cain asks her to dance, she’s brimming with happiness.
Oh, we do like to be beside the seaside! A conversation with Aaron gives Faith (pictured with Cain) an idea and she decides upon a family day out – yes, at the seaside
Little do they know she’s planning to end her life, and after saying her goodbyes she prepares to carry out the deed alone. When Cain arrives he realises what she’s done and is with her as she takes her last breath; he’s heartbroken.
They are great performances from Sally Dexter and Jeff Hordley, in their characters’ complex relationship that’s veered from sheer hatred and rejection on his part, to a tender, understanding love. Beautiful.
Chas has missed the lot because she’s busy canoodling with Al at a hotel. When Al switches her phone to silent, she misses Paddy’s many calls urging her to come home, so it’s clear that she’s not going to get back in time. Serves her right. She’s never happy is she, unless she’s with a bloke in a cellar or hotel room? Little did Faith know when she named her Chastity just how far she would go to play down her name.
There’s more lurking going on when Kim goes looking for Will at the scrapyard and listens in as Harriet fights for his love. Honestly, Kim, tell her she can have him; you can do a lot better – and have. As for Harriet, give the woman some bromide; is there nothing she won’t do to try to land a man – even if it is someone else’s? What will Kim do with the information? Be afraid, Harriet; be very afraid.
CORONATION STREET
Tracy has never forgiven Wendy’s affair with Ken, and that relationship looks unlikely to thaw when Wendy gives Ken tickets to a book launch at the Bistro for his birthday.
A book launch? You don’t need two hands to count the people who can read in Weatherfield.
Despite agreeing to discuss the play with Mary, Ken leaves when he gets a message from Wendy, and when Tracy hears Mary’s been ditched, she sees red at the launch.
Revenge is sweet, though, and when Tracy (right) apologises for making a scene, she offers to cook lunch for Wendy to welcome her to the family.
What’s on the menu? Arsenic stew? Cobra curry?
Far worse, and Ken is livid when Tracy serves up Deirdre’s speciality – stuffed marrow.
Oh, the memories. No one could deliver a line with such straight-faced genius as our dearly departed Anne Kirkbride as Deirdre, extolling the virtues of her stuffed marrow.
Such a regular it was in her kitchen, she could have written many books – Marrow Stuffing For Dummies, 1,000 Ways To Stuff Your Marrow, Keep Your Husband Happy With Stuffed Marrow; it was a tireless joke.
Poor Maria is receiving death threats once again and David has his suspicions that Max is behind it. No surprise there; he usually is.
But why are the police coming round after an inspection of Max’s laptop?
Pictured: Tracy McDonald, as played by Kate Ford, and Amy Barlow, as played by Elle Mulvaney
EASTENDERS
Eve doesn’t just have a heart of gold, she has a veritable gold mine nesting in her chest. Why else would she keep giving Suki chance after chance, when all the woman does is reject her? Suki could turn milk sour just by looking at it; actually, she could ferment a whole dairy with just a blink.
And yet, here we are again. Despite Eve being on a blind date – finally, she’s found London’s gay scene (it was hardly hiding its light under a bushel) – she’s unnerved to bump into Suki at The Albert.
When she sees a clearly distressed Suki rushing off, Eve follows her. Lo and behold, later at number 31, they passionately kiss. With Harpreet arranging for Suki to fly to Mumbai to get her out of the way, the women finally give in to their feelings. How long will it last this time?
When she sees a clearly distressed Suki rushing off, Eve follows her. Lo and behold, later at number 31, they passionately kiss (pictured)
My guess would be less time than a taxi fare to Heathrow. Honestly, Eve, talk about being a sucker for punishment; there are inmates on Death Row facing less purgatory than this woman puts you through.
Alfie is still intent on pursuing Kat, but his cause is not helped when a young woman arrives at the pub to remind him that he’s getting married. Tomorrow. Inevitably, there’s more to it, of course. But that’s another fine mess you’ve got me into, Alfie.